My Momma Left a Year Ago

Today marks a year since my sweet Momma went to Heaven. I miss her. I miss everything about her. I miss holding her hand. I miss hugging her little self. I miss her laughter. I miss calling her on my drive home from work and telling her all about my day. I miss hearing her say, “David!” I miss how she was on the move constantly, even at home. Sitting and watching television was not her thing. She needed to be doing something. I miss standing next to her in church and worshiping Jesus with her. I miss how she would clap lively to the music in church especially if she wanted the worship leader to sing faster! I miss her love of God-centered music. I miss watching her caught up in Bible study. I miss watching her create – sewing, crocheting, writing. I miss the way she made chicken and rice. I miss her apple salad which I will never have again because I could never make it right. I miss how she loved my children and how she prayed for them. I miss how she loved me so unconditionally despite me. I miss my Momma.

I am grateful for everything about her. I am grateful I got to hold her hand so many times. I am grateful for all of her precious hugs through the years. I am grateful to have been a source of her laughter. I am grateful for the joy she knew. I am grateful for how many times I had the privilege to call her on my drive home from work and tell her all about my day and for how she patiently listened. I am grateful for all the times I heard her say, “David!” Because most of the time dad was teasing her and she did t always catch on. I am grateful for how she was on the move constantly, even at home. Sitting and watching television was not her thing. She needed to be doing something – and I am just like her! I am grateful. I am grateful to have stood next to her in church and worshiped Jesus with her – I will never forget her enthusiasm for worshipping our Lord or how she would clap lively to the music in church especially if she wanted the worship leader to sing faster! I am grateful for how my sweet Momma loved God-centered music. I am grateful for the many times I found her caught up in Bible study. I am grateful that she tried to teach me to sew, crochet, and write. The writing caught on. The quilt she made for me was her last creation, and it will for always be on or near my bed. I am grateful for the way she made chicken and rice; I have only duplicated it once. Recently. I am grateful to have gotten to eat her apple salad which I will never have again because I could never make it right – and that’s ok. I am grateful for how she loved my children and how she prayed for them every day. I am grateful for how she loved me so unconditionally despite me. I am grateful for my sweet Momma.

She was (and is in my heart always) a beautiful lady. I’m grateful today that I have the blessing of, even in my missing her, having a plethora of memories with such a lovely woman, who was, because of the goodness of God, my Momma.

Today, I choose to be grateful in the midst of missing her. I celebrate her influence and her love and that she taught me to make snowflakes! ❤️

I Did Something Right

Well, I say that I did something right. The reality is that God has done something incredible despite me, my behaviors, my reactions, and my inadequacies.

My 6 children are friends.

Most evenings, the 6 of them, ranging in age from 27 to 15, are in a game server (created by my oldest son) and a video chat together. They talk. They laugh. They share themselves and their lives with each other. They talk about God, life, politics, and love. They tease each other. They are fierce about each other. They are each others’ best friends – in and out of the video chat and game server. How technology helps keep them connected amazes me. I have a Discord account, too, encouraged by my #4 kiddo, but I do not know how to use it. Ha. Getting old, I guess.

I am beyond happy, as their mother, that my 6 babies love each other. It feels miraculous, given what our family has been through throughout its existence.

Every day, they are each one, individually and as a group, on my mind, and I thank God for how He has kept my children tight despite me, despite the divorce, and despite what we have all been through. My children’s love of each other is what I’ve always asked God for, and He has answered this mother’s prayer. The Bible says, “Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened.” For my children, I have done this. I have asked, sought, and knocked. This comes from Mathew 7:7. Below, I have included verses 7 – 12.

Ask, Seek, Knock

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

I am grateful.

Truly, if my children stay close to each other, and I’m not included in that circle, I will still be happy. I will still know that God has a plan. I will continue to pray for them, love them, and be excited to catch glimpses of how God works in their lives as they get all up into their adult lives.

To be honest, I must admit the only thing I’ve done right here is to pray for my children.

All the credit for who my children are and who they are to each other goes to God.

Before I complete this post, I have to direct us all to verse 12 above. So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. These are words my kids were raised with. My life’s theme has been Love Your Neighbor as Yourself and The Golden Rule. Not that I’ve always gotten it right, because God knows (literally, God knows) that I have not always done things right, and at times, I have been far from doing things right, but I do believe this is the message I am on this earth to share. It is the core of my being to treat others the way I want to be treated, and it is the theme of my now-marriage, my conversations, my classrooms, my friendships, and my parenting.

Life is Russian Roulette.

For the 8th time in less than 2 years, the death of a family member or a friend has impacted me – and I’m sitting here wanting to grab up every single person that I love into one giant hug and squeeze you all and say, I love you!

No wriggling away. Hugging. Right now, in my heart.

Life is so fragile. It feels like Russian Roulette. Step out the door or stay inside – either way, there are no guarantees. We just live while we can. We take the moment we are in, and we make the best of it. Or at least we should.

I should. Let me talk to myself. Because really, that’s what I’m doing by writing this.

This is what I’m contemplating right now as I’m still hugging my people in my heart and mind. And while face after face flashes before my mind’s eye – those still here and those gone ahead, I’m realizing how blessed I am to have had so many people in my life to love and to love me – from Patrick to my parents and my brother. To my children, my children-in-law, Patrick’s kids, and my grandkids! From McAlester to Tulsa and everywhere in between, like Lakewood Christian Church, Edmond Doyle, Parker, Puterbaugh, MHS, Ozark Christian College, St. Ann, St. Louis, New Heights Christian Church, the Church of God in Baden, Vatterott, Lindenwood University, my kids’ friends’ parents, TWS, TCC, family friends, all of my extended family – so many cousins, and this Cunningham Clan that has taken me in. So many beautiful people. When I sit back and think … I’m blown away by the number of people I’ve had the blessing to call my friend and/or family.

Among those faces, I see Beverly Chamberlain, my sweet friend who passed in 2003. I see my best-laugh-ever dear friend Angi Huckaba who passed in 2005 … How can it be 20 years since Bev left us? 18 since Angi and her boys stepped into the arms of Jesus?

Wow, life just rolls forward at a fast pace, and time passes before we realize how long we have gone without seeing or speaking to this person or that. Man. Just man.

8 in less than 2 years that have directly impacted me.

~ Mondo Gonzalez, my brother-in-law, husband of Patrick’s sister Maureen.

~ Momma … my precious Momma, who I miss desperately.

~ Sara Bexley – my brother’s sister-in-law, best friend of her sister, Amy, my brother’s wife.

~ Maggie – our nephew, Josh’s fiance’. He is so broken without her.

~ Paul Crosby – my childhood hero, my pastor, my sweet friend Rhesa’s daddy.

~ Sandy Bohanan, sister of my ‘sister’ Sonya. She passed 18 days before Sonya.

~ Sonya Croudy, my chosen sister, my husband’s ex-wife – who loved on me with her whole heart.

~ Matt Jackson – childhood and lifelong friend – passed just last week in OKC – and my mind is racing with childhood memories and catching up about three years ago.

Is this just part of getting older, or does it seem like there really is this much sorrow going around for everyone? So much loss? So much sickness? So much heaviness? My friends Tammy and Jackie both told me today of sorrow in their lives, and it all feels so heavy.

My Lana’s son just lost one of his best friends. So young. So very young.

I don’t know if the answer to “Is this just part of getting older, or does it seem like there really is this much sorrow going around?” even matters. What does matter is what I do with right now.

This moment.

I think … I’m going to go kiss my Daddy on the forehead and then go kiss my husband.

I’m going to tell them that I love them.

I’m going to start there and see where my heart leads me next because I have no guaranteed life expectancy, and I need to spread the love NOW.

Love your people!

Live each moment.

Why is it every time I write a blog, it ends with these exhortations? 🙂

Church is where you go for ________ (Fill in the Blank).

My hackles went up, and my forehead furrowed recently when I read this post on Instagram.

Did I just read this correctly? I’d been following the poster of this statement for a while on Instagram and felt fairly comfortable with his sharing of faith and the Gospel – until I read this.

Responding to someone who states, “I don’t need to go to church. I read and interpret the Bible for myself,” the post says, “That’s proof you need to go to church because you’re not good at reading and interpreting the Bible for yourself.”

First of all, you do not need a comma between church and because. Secondly, this sounds like medieval practices when only priests and monks were allowed to read and interpret Scripture (and some denominations still to this day prefer this … apparently) …. Those were my initial reactions – and it seems to claim that only in a church can you get a correct interpretation of Scripture. {What about through the guidance of the Holy Spirit? … Nothing to see here. Keep reading.}

Me being me, I read through the comment thread below the post to see if it was just me who bristled at the fallaciousness before us. Maybe I was alone in my interpretation of what I’d just read. I needed to know.

Fortunately, in the sea of agreement, I found ‘my people’ riding the waves.

Emboldened, I wrote this comment on the thread:

“Church is to be for fellowship and sharing. NOT because we cannot interpret the Bible for ourselves. That’s malarkey.

“Never in Scripture does it say to go to a church building so that a preacher can interpret the Bible for you because you are incapable of doing it for yourself.

“Nor does it say to pay pastors so they can live in nice houses and drive nice cars.

“Paul was a tent maker – the monies they took in were used to meet the needs of their communities, not build buildings or have light shows.

“We need the ‘church,’ which is the people of God in our lives to serve alongside each other and encourage each other as we share the Gospel.”

It’s not thousands, but it has received 7 likes so far. Not that that matters. What does matter is that I don’t ignore something fallacious when I come across it regarding God’s Word and His Church. To say that people need to go to church because they’re not good at reading and interpreting the Bible for themselves is wildly inaccurate – and it takes away responsibility to develop a personal relationship with God so that the Holy Spirit can minister and guide believers to the truths in God’s Word! Without a personal walk with the Father and with Jesus Christ, in which the Holy Spirit reveals truths to a believer, there will be no entrance into Heaven for any individual.

It’s a good thing that whoever wrote that post wasn’t around when the thief on the cross was talking to Jesus … or perhaps, he should have been there to hear our Savior welcome a man into his Kingdom who had never darkened the doorway of a synagogue.

Sitting in AA meetings, I’ve seen people encounter God in ways I’ve never seen happen inside the walls of a dedicated “church” building. People develop a hunger for God in their lives when they recognize their deep, driving need for His mercy and His grace – and they seek it out, and they find God with their own understanding. These people understand their need of Him, and they come to understand that to fully follow God the Father, they must be of service to one another. In order to fully become “well,” they must serve, pick up their crosses, and be like Christ. They must speak the truth. Be in prayer and study. Be of service to each other. That is church. When we go to AA meetings, my husband says, we are going to church! No light shows. No preacher. No three-point sermons. No fancy buildings. Just a roomful of people discovering God is the ONLY solution to all of life, not just alcoholism. The testimonies and honesty overflow!

That said … Church buildings are (should be) for fellowship and service.

The “Church” is the body of Christ – the believers themselves.

Let’s not put God the Father, Christ the Savior, and the Holy Spirit in a box and say that in order to be able to understand the Word of God, you have to go to a church building where it can be done for you. That is fallacious. Malarkey. A lie from the pit of Hell.

Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

You want to get to know God? Find out for yourself who He is. Read. Seek. Ask. Knock.

A Tribute to My Sister

My husband’s ex-wife became my sister.

This may sound like a lyric from a Ray Stevens song, but it’s not. It is a truth that is the very picture of God’s grace in my life.

Years ago Patrick and Sonya were married, and it was another time, another place. They were oil and water married. Better friends not married. Through Patrick, Sonya became ingrained into his family. A daughter to his mother. A best friend to his sister. One of the greatest friends of his life. Their paths never diverged from that friendship, and they’ve lived as brother and sister through life’s ups and downs.

When Patrick and I were dating, I was introduced to Sonya as a part of the family, and though at first, I bristled at being friends with an ex-wife, I soon came to love her deeply. Her kindness and her strength. Her generosity and her love of God. Her laughter and her love of her husband James. Her positivity despite cancer’s intrusion into her life and her daily prayers and encouragement in the family text thread. Her gratefulness that Patrick and I found each other to love. Her fierce loyalty to those she chose as family. Her selflessness that she showed when she sat with me and held my hand for three hours without saying a word at the Clarehouse hospice care home as Momma’s life on this earth drew closer to its end. Sonya’s wisdom and internal peace make her beautiful beyond adequate words. Her life displays “Love Your Neighbor As Yourself” like no other I’ve encountered.

Two months ago, in a quiet moment, Sonya hugged me and told me she was grateful to God for making us sisters. Oh, me too. Me too, sweet sister, Sonya. You have forever imprinted on my heart and my soul. I will miss you in the days I have left on this earth, but I will daily strive to maintain the serenity that you walked in and love fiercely like you.

On August the 9th, Sonya’s spirit left this earth and soared into the arms of Jesus. Cancer thinks it beat her, but she’s not beaten! She is victorious!

Amen, Sister! Be free from pain and embrace your Heavenly reward! We will be together again. Until that day comes, to any one who reads this …

None of us has a guaranteed number of days on this earthly plain that we are aware of.

Have eyes to see the grace of God in your life and be grateful.

Love fiercely!

Live victoriously!

“A Kiss in the Rain” Lives On?

In prepping my “Novel Writing” course, I came across a discussion prompt where my students must share 3 possible story ideas, and they must give a synopsis of each story. My mind leaped back to a phone conversation I’d had with my cousin, Linda, yesterday evening. Linda read my novel, “A Kiss in the Rain,” and she said there were several characters she wanted to know more about. I laughed – not at her – but because she is not the first person to request stories about some of the other characters in that novel! I’m taking that to mean that they were written well. Pretty cool, really. And as I, in the present moment, read through the discussion prompt for my students, three different storylines came to me as potential storylines for other characters from “A Kiss in the Rain.” Nice! I’m excited!

I’d love your thoughts. Which might you like to read?

1. . John and Victoria Clark’s life together began like a fairytale, rubbing elbows with high society in their town, living vicariously through their daughter Daphne and her accomplishments, and their names on the top lists of charities across the state. They’re proud people. Wealthy people. Until Daphne’s teenage impulsive actions bring ‘shame’ upon the family – at this, the family unravels, the facade of their lives crumbles, and John finds himself in prison – with Victoria on the edge of filing for divorce. When a once-so-perfect life crashes to the ground, is there hope, or are they destined to live in the murky shadow of scandal?

A title might be … “The Judge’s Choice.”

2. She graced the cover of magazines from coast to coast. Journalists clamored to interview her. Senators and politicians wooed her. Adeline was the doll of the stage – a hit on Broadway and in the hearts of men.  One, a wealthy bank owner, asked her to be his wife and offered her everything she could ever desire … except George, the man her heart loved.  He was poor, a stagehand. He could offer her nothing more than his heart … and she chose wealth. Life for Adeline would never be the same – whisked away from the man she loved – she tried to fit into her new role as a socialite wife … and mother.  Until everything fell apart – and she was left with no one … and no forgiveness for herself.  Throughout the remainder of her life, she tried to stay off the radar, doing for others as she could but not for herself. And George never left her heart or her side – the stagehand with nothing but love to give – but could it ever be right to hope to right all over her wrongs to him? To her husband? To her child?

This would be titled (possibly) … “The Lady in Red.”

3. Jacqueline’s twin sister Victoria had it all. She was beautiful, vivacious, outgoing, and smart. She could roll out of bed and look like Barbie on parade. From an early age, Jacqueline resented Victoria. Jacqueline’s own hair hung straight as a board, her make-up – when she tried to apply it – ran and made her look goth – no matter what she tried. Her shoulders slumped, and she preferred books over people. Where Victoria shined, Jacqueline stayed in her shadow – invisible … until she ran out of gas one night after work at the Piggly Wiggly. Mad at her luck, she was kicking her front passenger tire when a 63′ Chevy pickup pulled up alongside her, and the driver said, “Tire piss you off?” Then, he laughed – and the music of his laugh entranced Jacqueline. Before she knew it, she married that man named Carl and found herself living with him, a man who would do anything for her, in a rundown old farmhouse while her sister when off to college and married a man who would become a Judge. She envied Victoria, hated Victoria, and she obsessed over everything Victoria had and did. Nothing ever seemed to go right for Jacqueline … and then, her mother died, leaving her to care for her niece and her niece’s child because they lived in her mother’s house. When she saw Daphne, she saw Victoria … and Carl gave her an ultimatum. Jacqueline finds herself at a crossroads of choice. Will she run off the only person who has ever given a damn about her, or will she, in her 50s, find a way to let go of the past. Carl has one foot out the door …

A title for this could be … “A Life Not Lived”

Now that I’ve written these out … I’m really excited about them all! I’d love your thoughts, especially if you’ve read “A Kiss in the Rain.”

If you have additional ideas or characters you want more about, let me know! Like Alice, perhaps. Or Brian? Definitely Robert and Lynne … so many characters! LOL.

Help!

He Still Used Her

Your relationship with Jesus is YOUR relationship with Jesus. Period.

You be right with Him despite your past. Don’t listen to those who tell you that you should live in shame for your former actions or treat you with judgment for those things. Their choices to speak those things or treat you a certain way are between them and Jesus.

Let that be. It is not for you to judge.

You choose to pursue the Christ whose GRACE is sufficient to cover your sins. Live for Him. Let Him use your story to heal others.

This is my story.

When I read the attached words, “The woman at the well had been divorced 5 times, and Jesus still used her. Don’t let people count you out because you have a complicated past. Jesus preserves your future,” I immediately posted it to Facebook. Why? Because this is a lesson I’ve learned, painstakingly learned, and I want others to hear it and KNOW this deep in their souls. Far too many people walk around in shame of past transgressions and unforgiveness of others and themselves when the Grace of God says to let it go. Now.

The Grace of God covers over a multitude of sins

Amen, and amen.

This Life Ends.

For the third time in two years, I sat in a room with a body whose spirit had departed yesterday. It is surreal to be present when the heart beats its last.

When my brother-in-law passed two years ago, Patrick and I arrived just after his heart stopped beating. We sat in the room with him and with Patrick’s sister and her son waiting on the coroner to come. To be there, seeing the body, knowing it will never open its eyes again, never smile or laugh or cry, is sobering. This life ends.

My sweet Momma passed 8 months ago – November 12th, 2022. Patrick and I picked up my brother from the airport, and we made our way back to the hospice house where Momma lay laboring to breathe, her eyes closed, unresponsive, but her heart still beating. We arrived, and David and I stood on either side of Momma’s bed – together, we told her it was okay to go, and we told her we love her and kissed her forehead. I lay my hand on her heart and felt it take its final beat as we stood there. A vein in her neck pulsed, and I looked at David without understanding. He said that was normal – the blood still moved some, though her heart had stopped. And she was gone.

In December 2022, our nephew’s fiance stopped breathing. She was around 32. One minute, she was fine. The next, it seemed, we gathered in the hospital parking lot as a family and loved on our nephew. She was gone.

Yesterday our family gathered at the bedside of another family member as the breathing tube was removed from her mouth and throat. The machine detecting her heartbeat showed it slowing down, and we stood together, waiting, watching, praying, knowing she was gone before her heart stopped. It stopped.

Four deaths in two years in this family. Three that I was at the bedside of the body, the shell, the vessel with no Spirit present.

This life ends. It is fragile.

It is to be LIVED while we are here.

For me and for Patrick, we have decided to live each day to the fullest. Each day we will find joy, laugh, do big things, talk a lot, never fight. Time is too short for fighting.

We choose happy.

We choose faith – and believing that God the Father is Good.

We choose to believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that He died on the cross to save us from our sins, that He rose from the dead on the third day, and that HE is seated at the right hand of the Father in Heaven!

We choose each other and all that life holds ahead of us.

God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Do children and adults learn differently and thus require different teaching strategies?

After combing through the readings on Pedagogy and Andragogy given in a Workshop I’m taking for Professional Development, I took a break before answering the above question (“Do children and adults learn differently, and thus require different teaching strategies?”) and went into the dining room, where my husband sat on the phone with the concrete contractor from the job site where he, my husband Patrick, is the superintendent. I busied myself while he ended the phone call, and then I took a seat when the call was over to hear about his day and why it was culminating in a terse phone call like that. He talked about employees and workers who do things their own way no matter how often they’ve been directed another way until the necessity for that direction they’ve been challenging or ignoring becomes clear. Patrick said, “You can’t teach them anything if their minds aren’t on the learning” (Cunningham).  My mind exploded, and I jumped up and said, “I’m writing that down! You just said what I’ve been reading!” I told him I was going to quote him for this assignment, and I have. It is a true statement. “You can’t teach them anything if their minds aren’t on the learning.”

The article “Andragogy, Not Pedagogy” from Seattle Colleges states, “Adult students must be in a state where they are ready to learn. Adult learners must be able to see the connection between what they are learning now and some immediate application.”  Sounds eerily similar to what my Construction Superintendent husband said, who’s not had a lick of college or training on Andragogy or Pedagogy but plenty of experience “teaching” in the real world outside of Academia.

Learners across the board achieve more if their minds are on learning – regardless of which pedagogical method is chosen for the classroom.  A foundation has to be laid in any classroom, despite the age of the learner. Students need to know they are safe, as talked about in the article “Educating Adult Learners: Bridging Learner’s Characteristics and the Learning Sciences.”  This involves knowing they are important and cared for – children and adults alike – and more for adults, they need to understand WHY the lessons coming their way are important. The same article mentioned above states Knowles’ assumptions about adult learners … “Adult learners need to know the rationale of why they are learning something.” This is foundational to a successful classroom.  Because of this, the first week of my class – no matter the subject – is spent orienting the student to who I am and why they can trust me to bring them the materials, and it is spent orienting them to the environment of the learning – establishing safety, warmth, communication means, and always the WHY we will learn the materials coming in the semester – with English classes, I tell them it all comes down to $$. How motivated are you to be successful in your career? This class will give you the soft skills to achieve that success! I also give them articles that back up this insight from the business world – including Forbes and HR specialists who lead employee trainings. 89% of the time that people fail or quit a job, it is because of a lack of soft skills – according to “Hire For Attitude,” – an interview of Mark Murphy completed by Dan Schawbel for Forbes Magazine. In my classes, motivation is given in the first week, and students rise to the sound of $$ in their futures. They tend to listen. This is my experience – no matter the age range. For my online classes, I ensure the first week of class, they have a warm, friendly, funny video lecture to watch that is specifically detailed with the “WHY” of the coming materials thoroughly explained. Truthfully, I do for them what I want done for me.

For many semesters the age range in my classrooms (online and in-person) ranges from 16 to 60. I do have both children and adults in the same room, and therefore, I have to provide a caring atmosphere (the course climate according to “Educating Adult Learners: Bridging Learners’ Characteristics and the Learning Sciences”) with a clear explanation of how the lesson materials can and will shape and challenge and improve their lives.  I often refer to myself as an “Edutainer” because I must engage my students so that their minds can be on the learning … It is on me, the facilitator/professor, to engage my students, no matter their age or their background. This requires energy and alertness on my part to the diversity in my classroom (Let’s call this the pedagogical angle). This requires that I am willing to meet the students at their needs. Therefore … we spend a week or two setting the stage for the remainder of the learning.  I just realized I said “we” … this is Andragogy … the learners and I set the stage together.  I welcome them into the atmosphere I desire, and we have conversations (lessons) – and in an online course, this translates into strong discussion threads where students are required to respond to a minimum of 5 classmates’ posts. Conversations tend to pick up on their own, and I have discovered that online students sometimes form their own study groups and friendships/connections outside of class as a result of a well-established course climate.

So, to answer the question, “Do children and adults learn differently and thus require different teaching strategies?” a concoction of both Pedagogy and Andragogy is required, in my experience, to achieve the best results for the classroom – with the definition of “best results” being whatever a successful outcome is per student.  ELM Learning, in the article “Pedagogy vs. Andragogy: Where Many Get it Wrong in Their Learning Strategy,” points out that in Pedagogy, “the learner comes to the table with little life experience.” They are a “blank slate,” whereas Andragogy states, “The learner uses life experience as a foundation.” In their comparison/contrast of Advantages and Disadvantages in the ELM articles, they state that Pedagogy provides “more structure and guidance for learners,” whereas Andragogy “allows learners to take control and be more independent.” Pedagogy “can be more efficient in terms of time and resources,” whereas Andragogy “encourages problem-solving.” A structured environment that allows learners to take control and gain independence and encourages problem-solving works for every age.  I used to teach 2 year-olds in a preschool while working towards my Master’s degree, and I’ve often said it’s not too different from teaching adults.  Motivate your learners.  Provide them with safety and care and a strong WHY. Engage them. This uses both learning method models. 

My Concrete Superintendent husband shared this quote with me also regarding learning. He quoted Herbert Spencer, an English philosopher, psychologist, biologist, sociologist, and anthropologist. “There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance – that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”

Regardless of age, students and teachers must recognize this ‘contempt prior to investigation’ that exists in people, be willing to encounter new ideas and means/methods of teaching, be honest about themselves and their biases, and be open-minded to allearning processes so that the best outcomes are achieved. What works for one may not work for another. Openness to change and adaptability in learning methods is essential for educators. 

Christopher Emdin is my education guru. His teaching philosophy is what he calls “Reality Pedagogy.” Columbia University, where Emdin is a professor in their Teachers College, wrote an article, “A Call for Reality Pedagogy,” about Emdin’s perspectives. “Emdin calls for a ‘reality pedagogy’ that ‘involves connecting academic content to what’s happening in the world that affects students’ and ‘making sure that their lives and backgrounds are reflected in the curriculum and in classroom conversations.'” He speaks on knowing the chaos of our students’ lives and where they’re coming from (the real world outside of Academia – much like my husband) before thinking we have the insight to even begin to be effective educators. His ideas blew me away during the time I was teaching in an urban environment in North City St. Louis, where often my entire classroom was 100% ‘black’ or ‘brown.’ I was challenged and changed, and I became an “Edutainer” and someone who took time to know about their students, incorporating their experiences into the classroom. Ahhhh, Mr. Emdin. Love that guy. https://lenazyslife.home.blog/2019/01/17/i-am-an-edutainer/. Links to an external site.

I love the insight of my Concrete Superintendent husband too. 

Works Cited:

Andragogy, not pedagogy. Faculty Development. (n.d.). http://facdev.seattlecolleges.edu/adultlearner/andragogypedagogy/Links to an external site.

Cunningham, D. (2023, July 13). Conversation in the Dining Room with Patrick Cunningham. personal.

ELM Learning. (2023a, April 24). Pedagogy vs. andragogy: Fix your learning strategy. ELM Learning. https://elmlearning.com/blog/pedagogy-vs-andragogy/Links to an external site.

Ho, Y. Y., & Lim, W. Y. R. (1970, January 1). Educating adult learners: Bridging learners’ characteristics and the Learning Sciences. SpringerLink. https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-981-15-1628-3_4Links to an external site.

Important Books. (2013). In Alcoholics Anonymous: The story of how many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism (p. 568). quote – Herbert Spencer.

Schawbel, D. (2013, December 17). Hire For Attitude – Interview with Mark Murphy. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/danschawbel/2012/01/23/89-of-new-hires-fail-because-of-their-attitude/?sh=473fcaed137a

Never Do I Want to Be a Believer That a Demon is Comfortable With. A Commentary on “Nefarious.”

Whether you’re a believer or not, this movie is worth your time. For a non-believer, perhaps you can appreciate the strength of the acting and the fact that the majority of the movie takes place in one room. It is listed as a horror film, though most of the movie is dialogue. Now … that dialogue … is of a spiritual and theological nature – and it is direct. There are no punches held. Perhaps, a non-believer will reflect on the message of the movie at its conclusion, perhaps, not.

For a believer, you need to watch this movie, because – to be quite frank – too many “believers” do not actually believe in the Spirit Realm. It’s uncomfortable. Believing in the Spirit Realm and the war that rages for our souls would make believers actually have to live their “faith” – and that would be inconvenient … and scary. So many “believers” go to church, collect their bulletins, sing a few songs, and live their lives oblivious to that which we cannot see. Believers might not like the movie because it will cause self-reflection and testing of faith.

In the movie, a “man of God” comes to visit the prisoner who is inhabited by a demon. The demon recoils until he determines the “man of God” has no true faith … he invites the priest to sit down. Stay a while.

Chilling.

Other believers, who know that there are spiritual forces at war all around us, will see this movie, and they will continue to put on the full armor of God, fill themselves with the Word of God, and be prepared for this battle that rages from the hate of the devil for the souls of mankind. These believers who live with their spiritual eyes wide open will be the light that makes the demons recoil! They will say the name of the carpenter, the Son of God. His name is Jesus!

With those things said, I recommend this movie. Wherever you are in belief, see it. Think about its content. Appreciate its merits. The acting is superb. Critics despise the movie, and well, after viewing its content, you’ll understand why.

One last thing …

Never do I ever want to be a believer that the demon is comfortable with. Never.

Jesus. I will say His Name. Jesus.