Living With Aspergers & Magic is Real

Written on March 3, 2016

Yesterday I sent a text to my oldest son. It simply said, “I love you, Keenan.”

No response, so I added, “so much.”

His reply … “Yeah, and magic is real too.”

Horrified for me? Don’t be. My son has an Asperger’s diagnosis. Level one autism. He lives on a different plane than his momma. His brain functions differently. Emotions skewed if understood at all. So, I do not take it personally. At least he responded. He doesn’t always because he does not understand that I want/need to hear from him in return.

Mom says she loves me. Ok. So.

Aaron Likens is an adult with Aspergers. He travels, speaks, and has written a book that has forever changed the way I parent my two Aspie sons. “Finding Kansas” …

My recommendation is that if you struggle with Autism in your family, in the workplace, in a friendship … Pick up his book. Devour it. Read it over and over. Dig into the insights on every page.

Do not live with hurt feelings and misunderstandings anymore. It sat heavy on my heart to share this little bit with you … Life with Aspergers need not be a burden but a blessing … Arm yourself with testimonies of those who live it themselves. Aaron Likens and Temple Grandin are both a beautiful starting point.

My son does not intend to hurt my feelings. He’s just stating what he thinks. And why wouldn’t he, he’ll counter.

You’re right, kid – and maybe magic is real. Thanks for responding. I love you more. 😉

Who Am I Supposed to Be at 43?

Looking back on this now at 46. Most still rings true.

Written on March 23, 2016

Maybe it’s mid-life. Maybe not. But I find myself constantly asking what is it that I want to do with my life? Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? Where do I want to go? All good questions. What is my goal? What are my dreams? Ambitions? What will make me happy?

My initial response is I don’t know … until I think on it.

Career wise? Teaching. I love to teach. I’m a natural. Standing in front of a group of people and keeping them engaged in the topic at hand is my strength and in doing so, I come alive. That makes me happy. Beyond that – it thrills me. Like a rush from an ultimate high … I get that after a class well delivered and received. Eyes lighting up. Light bulbs overhead. Yes. And more yes. That is where I excel and that is where I’m happy. Content.

Staying to this point … Teaching. Then why am I not teaching more? Or is it that I must reframe my thought processes to see all that I do as an opportunity for education in one fashion or another? I’m asking myself this question right now as I continue to work an office job … though teaching a Communications course once a week in the evening (which I adore!). Days go by where I feel my life force draining from the pores of my soul. Gross visual, but accurate portrayal. And I’m restless.

Aren’t we all when we find ourselves not doing that which we should?

Maybe my question should not be what will make me happy, but what is my passion? What drives me? That is an altogether different query. People embracing interpersonal and intrapersonal communications … those are my driving force. Understanding self and knowing one’s audience. This is the key to soft skills. The key to upward mobility. Something I’m not so much interested in for myself, for helping others gain! So fantastic! So … there it is. What drives me? To assist others in reaching their career and life goals. How? My narrow vision says Classroom Teaching … but isn’t all the world a classroom? Don’t I need to reframe my vision to encompass life and see that I just am a teacher. An instructor … a reluctant leader so often who takes the microphone and embraces it … no matter the setting.

It’s all perspective really. Choice. Choosing to see the world as a stage … or a classroom. Choosing to pursue my passion and in that to find contentment which brings those emotional highs of happiness but overall peace and joy knowing that I do what I can to make a difference in the world around me?

I filled out an interview questionnaire today. On one question, I was to rate how important becoming wealthy was to me. I sat and stared at it, realizing that’s not even a care for me. Truly, I want to make a difference in the lives of others. I’m not concerned with much else.

And … while doing that … do find snippets of times for the things I enjoy. ENSURING, I make time for the snippets of things I enjoy.

Like:

Riding the motorcycle
Laughing until I snort
Writing/blogging
A night out with friends
Games with my little boys
Thrift store shopping
Hanging with my teenage daughters
Watching some good political news coverage
Action/Adventure movies (mostly that involve Mark Ruffalo as the Hulk)
Buying shoes
Singing … anything I can belt
Eating Ice Cream. Preferably Chocolate Almond. Rocky Road will do.

So … the initial question was Who Am I Supposed to Be?

I’m to be me. I’m to be me with a mission. And I know my mission. To be kind in all circumstances. To love my neighbor as myself. To use my talents and abilities to their fullest … to engage with others, instruct, lead, guide, laugh, learn, love, empathize.
I must stop trying to make myself fit into other pegs and holes … I’m a triangle. Why a triangle? Not sure. Just came out … but I like it.

Am I the greatest at data entry? No, but I’ll do my best.

Am I the cleanest housekeeper in history? BY NO MEANS. Still … that’s okay. Not my forte and I know it.

Am I a mistake maker? PLEASE don’t keep track. Please. Pleeeeaaaasssseeeee. I’ll toss out as many smiles and jokes as I can to keep them all from your mind – I’ll toss you a wink, a little flirtatious smile, something to cover fast my mistakes. I make plenty of mistakes … and why? I move too fast. Think too fast. Want everything fast. Fast. Fast. Fast. And in my head I hear the “Have Patience” song my mother used to play for me when I was a little girl.

Am I impatient then? Always. Question is … why? Heck if I know. Always anxious. Always got to go. Got to do. Got to move. Shaking my legs, tapping my pens, wringing my hands. Just want to get to where the laughter is I think. Always. Want to spend my days laughing and in some fantasy realm where all is rainbows and chocolate covered almonds and romance and waterfalls.

Am I capable of seeing beyond the nose on my face? Not always. Really … not much. In fact … no. I am in the here and now more than the down the road … I live each moment in my feels.

Am I the most logical of persons? Ha. Hahaha. I mean …. Hahahahahahaha. Um, no. And you know what all you logical people out there … I’m your heart.

I’ll make you smile. Make you laugh. Give you a “what impact you have on the world” speech.

So there that’s my response when you tell me I need to be more logical, make less mistakes, be patient, see the bigger picture … I’ll try. This little heart will so try. I’ll put forth the effort to mash my triangular shape into your round hole … I’m going to laugh because I know it won’t work.

43, and this is me.

Warm fuzzy me. Lovey-dovey, there’s always a positive way to see a thing, all will come right in the end, me. Let’s just hug it out. Kiss and make up. Have an appreciation circle. Share a testimony. Hold hands and sing some songs. Kum-by-ya …

You know you want to … Wait … come back! 🙂

She Wore What to the Interview? Do’s & DON’T’s

Written on March 23, 2016

Found myself in an interview setting recently – a beautiful, plump sociological observatory – and I could not have been more amused by the parade of interviewees surrounding me. I’ve studied and taught Interview Skills for long that I take for granted most folks know how to dress professionally – somehow I feel like I’ve told them all – until this interviewee parade at an Insurance company.

Me watching and taking mental notes – the wannabe sociologist / soft skills coach:

Professional dress does not mean 5-inch heels that are only meant for a New York runway.
Whilst waiting to be interviewed, do not take selfies. Especially multiple. With duck lips.
Do not haunch over in your seat with your cell phone the center of your attention.
In fact … put that dadgum thing away. Put it away. Do not touch it. Just don’t. No. Don’t. Put. It. Down.
Professional dress does not mean acid-washed jeans and an untucked white button-down shirt with an anchor pattern. It really doesn’t.
Giant strings of pearls that draw the eyes to one’s bosom – also not the top-notch of ideas for professional dress.
Small suitcases doubling as purses in a variety of patterns – not suited for a professional environment. No, don’t argue. They’re not.
To the gentlemen with the solid brown or black leather briefcases … go on, you. Get it. True.
Please don’t bend over … no … oh, she did and the moon shone. Yeah, a short skirt … not for an interview. Really … some of us should never wear them anywhere.
If you have a gut … find a suit that fits and doesn’t cause you to appear like a lollipop character from AdventureTime. Ouch. I know. Sorry?
Flip flops under no circumstances constitute professional attire. Really.
Muttering. It’s unattractive. Not sure if you were speaking to me or around me or to your ghost friend … awkward.
Leopard print stretch pants … not professional. Well … not in THAT environment … you know where I saw you wearing those. Now … maybe elsewhere, across the River perhaps.
You told the receptionist what about your resume – the one that was a requirement for the interview? That your printer died? That you had no ink? That it’s on your jump drive and can she print it for you? (Do you see a printer at her desk?) Can you email it to her? Oh dear goodness … person after person. Seriously?
So, you had your resume with you, but it’s in a stack of jumbled loose papers that your scrambling to hold in your arms and not drop all over the floor … I see. Organization is key.
Cleavage. No. Put them away. Please. I’m uncomfortable. These guys are all trying to study their shoes.
SMILE. Look like you want to be here. Sit up straight. Or don’t. Whatevs. Maybe you don’t really need a job. You’re just here to pass some time. Could be.

There’s more … but suffice it to say. Catastrophe. My heart goes out to the owner and the hiring managers. Not the pool of applicants they’d hope to see – it was all over their faces. One after another. And I smirked. Wrong? Perhaps. But I did.

Be prepared before an interview. First of all – know it’s never about you. It’s about the company you’re applying for. It’s about their profit line and can you match yourself to them? Can you show that YOU will increase their bottom line? Know how they dress. Read their website. Prepare questions. Learn interview body language. Practice an excellent handshake. Don’t have your stupid cell phone out. Show responsibility. Look a person in the eye. Smile. Show your drive for the job.

Boy … people are fun to watch. Ever want to pass some time? Head a to a hiring event. Just to people watch. Take notes. Maybe have a drink or two. Don’t forget to take your best bud along. Nothing like it. Take my word for it. Those observations above? Oh, I’ve got more. Same event. Mindboggling.
Sheesh.

“When, no – IF, the day ever comes that I teach just to share information regardless if students access it or not, please make me stop teaching,” – Me.

Written on April 10, 2016

“Your energy makes me feel better about this,” my student said in reference to her going back to school in her 30s. It’s been 11 years since a last attempt at college. Around her other students agreed with her sentiment.

The first day of class and all around me sat nervous adults taking a giant step to change their lives, open career growth opportunities, set examples for children. It is my job to teach them Communications: Comp I, Comp II, and Introduction to Literature. None of the 10, save maybe 1, wanted to start their college journey with English classes. All came expecting boredom, expecting assignments to scare the headless horseman, and afraid of failure.

Failure is not an option in my class.

See, Teaching is more than sharing materials outlined in a lesson plan or a syllabus to me. It is an opportunity to open minds, to share ideas, to change lives. It is my duty and pleasure to not only share a subject but to also make it accessible to each student.

Learning styles do not fit in a box. Unfortunately, the majority of college instructors teach in one format – lecture. Few people glean information in this way … I do. I love to lecture. Let me sit and take notes all day. But … I’m a minority. My fearful students expect to be bored … Within minutes they’re smiling, relaxing, and keeping eye contact.

The first thing I do is introduce myself and tell why it is the can trust me to be their instructor. I smile. I laugh. I make eye contact with each student. I allow them to ask questions before each of them is encouraged to introduce themselves. I make a practice of good listening, asking questions, offering encouragement to each student as they share. Warm fuzzies go far in relaxing a group of nervous people.

Once introductions are had, the syllabus chat commences and my edutainer hat firmly in place. I am to teach English to busy adults with jobs and families. Ok. Let’s make it interesting and accessible while not losing content. How? That’s the key here … Each group of students requires its own energy level from me. I do so much more than share materials from books – I create learners by knowing my audience and adjusting to their learning needs, helping them relax, challenging them to new ideas and pushing them to tackle things they didn’t know they could, and making them laugh! So much the laughter. Make it engaging, interesting. Tell stories. Be real. Grab the audience. Real them in. Be passionate. See teaching as Art! Creation! A Joy! Love your subject and your learners. Leave them sending you text messages like this when your time together is through …

When the day ever comes that I teach just to share information whether students access it or not, please make me stop teaching. I never want to be the idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player … That struts and frets his hour upon the stage …. And then is heard no more: it is a tale … Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.” – Macbeth / Shakespeare

Let me always be full of passion for learning! Amen!

“Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.” Anthony J DAngelo

Truth Harder Than a Lie

This hurt to read. That song did play repetitively when I would get in my car during my affair … it ate at me and ate at me … and I didn’t know how to let my behavior or my sin go – just do it, right? But I couldn’t, didn’t, wouldn’t. I was addicted in some awful, twisted hero complex-needing a savior from the pain of my marriage – and he – my affair, was in my everyday life – I answered to him and he wanted me when the one at home did not – when he called me names and hurt me – I clung to the one who was not mine – and still even HE wasn’t enough to fill that void in me – he wasn’t the only one – I was insatiably drowning in deprivation, but I wouldn’t change the radio station. Refused. It was another life-line somehow … maybe it was more that I felt I was still a “Christian” if I listened to Christian radio. I wasn’t. I was an adulteress. A hypocrite. A wretched whore. I hated myself and that damn song played every time I got in the car. But I listened. Still – in the midst of it all, I wanted to be different. I wanted to be good. I wanted to be loved. You can understand that just a few short months later, I was suicidal and in a Psych ward.

Written on June 6, 2016

Truth is Harder than a Lie

For a while now this song has played most every time I sit in my car to drive.

If We’re Honest by Francesca Battistelli

Not as often now as in the recent past … the lyrics cut me.

Truth is harder than a lie

The dark seems safer than the light

And everyone has a heart that loves to hide

I’m a mess and so are you

We’ve built walls nobody can get through

Yeah, it may be hard, but the best thing we could ever do, ever do

Bring your brokenness, and I’ll bring mine

‘Cause love can heal what hurt divides

And mercy’s waiting on the other side

If we’re honest

Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not

Living life afraid of getting caught

There is freedom found when we lay

our secrets down at the cross, at the cross

Bring your brokenness, and I’ll bring mine

‘Cause love can heal what hurt divides

And mercy’s waiting on the other side

If we’re honest

It would change our lives

It would set us free

It’s what we need

I say it cut me more then than now … because now, I’m listening. Now, I’m recognizing the darkness which held me – wants to keep me. Now, I’m feeling the conviction, the pain, the coming back to the light … the lyrics to that song were written for me.

Those words encompass everything I have been and have done … pretending to be something that you’re not. Living life afraid of getting caught. I’m such a mess. Have been a mess for a very long time. Have been very good at exteriors – giving off perception of always being together – being the go-to believer.

“How do you do it?” People have asked that for years … my response … smile and in false humility attribute it to God … Horrible. How did I do it? I didn’t. I faked it all.

Inside a festering pile of nastiness. Anger. Bitterness. Loss. Regret. Envy. Desire. Hate.

I walked each day longing for something I could not have … growing deeper in my rage and in my internal fight. Hiding it all. Letting self overtake me … the downward spiral began. Separated myself from anything I knew was good for me. Wanted only what fed my desire, my longing, my fantasy. And I’d sit in my car … and “Truth is harder than a lie; The dark seems safer than the light/ And everyone has a heart that loves to hide …” played from my radio. Somehow in the midst of the darkening spiral of behavior and need, I kept the radio on JoyFM. So grateful now for that St. Louis based Christian radio station.

I do believe God does this. Uses songs, conversations, interactions – as His voice. And THIS song. THIS particular song held His message to me. I’d say “I hate this song” but I stopped changing the station when it played. Now, I cry. Now … I know.

I’m not resurfaced completely from it all at all … not sure that any of us ever completely resurface from the struggles of temptation. But I’m healing. I’m seeking … trying to. Wanting to. The struggle is real.

Pray for me, please. An authentic life is what I do desire. It’s not something I think I’ve ever lived. Authentically who God has created me to be … instead of trying to please externally while inside burning with all manner of negative emotions. Instead of thinking myself better, holier … suppressing/justifying bad thoughts and behaviors by offering up words of love and goodness to anyone listening.

Pray that I know life is what I make it. Pray that I can let go of the past. Forgive hurt and perceived injustice that I’ve held for nearly 30 years – that has consumed and shaped me. Accept where I am and who I am and whose I am. Accept love. Move forward with eyes toward Heaven – without focus on protecting and feeding self.

Pray that I can follow my own advice in so many previous blogs. To allow Micah 6:8 to be the guiding function in this life …. What does the Lord require of you? Act Justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.

That I accept these words each new day …

‘Cause love can heal what hurt divides

And mercy’s waiting on the other side

If we’re honest

It would change our lives

It would set us free

It’s what we need
CUS137BeStillScripture-1024x576

See Ya Later, Teach!

Written on June 21, 2016

See ya later, Teach!

Is it weird that I want to take a group picture with these students? Hope not … cause that just happened. In the middle of their test, I popped up and requested a picture. They all looked around like … really? And yes, we did it. Timer and all. I’m pleased.

Each group I teach has its own personality. This group … intense, driven, smart … put me on my A game. Well … mostly on my A game. I admit I have areas to work on … like giving more than a check mark on most essays as a grade. My excuse … we are in this class to LEARN correct format and correct presentation skills for the rest of their educational experience with Lindenwood! This group … it was more like hanging with a writing group or a book club … only I had the floor most of the time.

Did I say only giving check marks? Are you still on that? Yes, I said that. Do I write notes and make corrections on paper? OF COURSE and in different pen colors. Do I count off for every misplaced comma or extra unnecessary adverb? No. No. No. No. Not what my class is about. We are about confidence building into new students! Students who are coming back to school as adults who’ve had a long hiatus since darkening the doors of a school. This is the Communications Cluster where MLA formatting, soft skills, writing essentials, and PowerPoint presentations are introduced and conquered!

“See ya later, Teach,” said one as she just packed up and left. I never get used to the last night of class. I invest myself in them … and then they’re just gone. Ready to move on to their next class … and I’ll have a new group to learn. It’s as it should be … just change is not always welcome. This group … they took a piece of my heart – such a variety of people … Boeing employee, HR director, Railroad Engineer, St. Louis City Cop, AT&T manager, Bank Teller, Edward Jones Administrative Assistant, a brand new mom … you just never know who’ll be in your group. This group. My group – had all of those folks!

At the end of every Final Exam, I pose this … “What has been the most helpful element(s) of this course for you? (This helps me in future planning) and What suggestions might you have/critique? (So won’t affect your grade!) Tonight’s responses both warm my heart and challenge me for the next group!

“The most helpful element of this course has been ‘Shitty First Drafts.’ That essay has changed the way I approach writing and has made me a better writer. I have enjoyed every aspect of this course and hope all of my other professors will be as engaging as you.”

“The Collectiveness! Essentially all of us from all walks of life have crossed paths in this class. I’ve learned so much and really felt a sense of belonging! Ms. Lady you rock!”

“Resume writing and presentations have been most helpful, allowing me to possess the tools necessary to go further in life! Remain fun and nontraditional.”

“Understanding to just read, read, and read. This builds your vocabulary and view on major world issues. Loved the class!”

“The most helpful element to me is being shown how to just write. This course has helped me become a better writer and even a faster writer by showing me to just put the words on paper and then fine tune it once the ideas and thoughts were out. One suggestion … keep doing what you’re doing!”

“The most helpful element in this class has been the instructor. She has helped our class become better writers and improved our presentation skills. Learning how to write our essays in MLA style has been very rewarding. This skill will help us throughout our college careers.”

“I loved your class! I learned a lot and I like the energy you provide. Thank you for NOT making us hate English Literature by making us study Shakespeare!”

“I really like relating some of the lessons to real life, and I loved the class on interview skills and resume building (I got a job!). My least favorite about the course was the lack of the importance of peer reviews and first drafts and final drafts.”

Oh …. and boom, there it is. The critique. What I’m always looking for. The nugget where I need to grow – the piece I preach is necessary for betterment! I had one willing to toss it out there … The lack of peer review …. She is right. We started out to do it … and then time and my mouth running …. it all got away from us. So … forward march and peer review time MUST be worked into the next go-round of classes! On it. And … more time on first and final drafts … she means my critique. We had obstructions to class time … my gallbladder surgery threw us off, threw me off. Noted. And to her … I’m so sorry. Please contact me any time with any questions further about papers in your next classes!

To this group who just passed out of my door ….

THANK YOU! So much, thank you. You’ve blessed me.

I love what I do.

The Homeless & Partly Other Things

The blog post that follows is good, yes, but it is the section just below that I have placed in bold that I want to point out. This was, of course, written while I was married. Stripped bare honest moment here … the “Partly Other Things” … he’d found out I had been texting other men. So, all of my social media access was heavily limited – it was “our” decision. I don’t think he knew I was still writing my blog. It was a life-giver for me during that time. On it, I was the ME I wanted to be – where I forgot about the mess of a life I had created and lived inside – my blog was my fantasy land. No anger or hurt or sin existed there. La-la land blog … all about writing, and teaching, and Jesus. Not about adultery or domestic violence or hiding behind the guise of Christianity in a “Life is Perfect” persona. Yes, I am calling myself out as a Hypocrite. I am sure I still am in some ways. We all are if we are honest.

That said. It is a good piece – about the Homeless issue in St. Louis.

Written on June 23, 2016

Give a Man a Fish – Feeding the Homeless in St. Louis

Facebook just kills me sometimes. Like, I truly feel sick about some things that cross my feed and I’m picky about my Facebook feed. In fact, this year, my husband and I took our shared account down from over 800 “friends” to around 40. There were and are reasons for our decision … partly because of bandwagon posting. Partly other things.

Bandwagon posting. Seeing something and it evokes an emotional response, so the reader reposts it and/or comments on it without research. Without Snopes.com. Without discovering if in fact what they’ve read or seen has validity or at least determining if the other side, because there is always another side to any issue, has merit.

It’s the “sheep” idea … people are referred to as “sheep” repeatedly throughout Scripture for good reason. Sheep are dumb. Sheep will follow a wolf in sheep’s clothing without question. Someone who claims to be the shepherd becomes the leader and they all follow over the cliffs and into the lion’s lair. That’s people. Bandwagon riding sheep.

Are there times I am one? Yes, I’m sure there are, but I try to always be aware. I try to avoid jumping without thought or consideration or learning or knowledge. (I was, in fact, a sheep a couple of months ago and as a result of hasty action am no longer in the same position I once was … not fired – just edged in a chain of events after sheepish action.)

This past week, I’ve seen multiple posts about the feeding of homeless people in the city of St. Louis being illegal. Women trying to hand out food were stopped by the police. I looked for the news story and found some articles with dates of 2013 and 2014, something from 2015 as well. That’s fine. There are people complaining because they are stopped from doing what they perceive as a good deed.

It didn’t sit well with me as I read the commentary of those who’d shared and felt inspired to add two cents to the comment threads. Bashing police. Bashing city officials. No, something’s inherently wrong with that behavior!

I turned to my best resource. A St. Louis city cop. I asked his perspective on the situation – is it really illegal to feed homeless people in the city of St. Louis? What I learned, must be shared. He said this …

“Well, the Chief feels that when people come into the city to feed the homeless, it’s providing them a disservice. There are places they can get good and services in the city, but these groups help bypass the services, which is allowing the homeless to stay content not working and living on the streets. Many homeless I’ve dealt with do not want to NOT be homeless, they don’t want to work and they’d rather drink all day and have no responsibility. It’s kind of like having a stray animal around your house, you don’t want it there but you feel bad and feed it. Then, the stray keeps coming back and you eventually stop feeding it and it learns to hunt and feed itself again. So it’s kind of the teach a man to fish concept.”

There are organizations in the city that follow set regulations and do provide the necessary items homeless people need to survive, but like my friend said, why would they go to those services when well-meaning groups will meet them where they sit or lay? Why would they try to move, to work, to do when it isn’t a necessary thing for living.

If you want to help the homeless, call your city officials and find out how you can best go about doing so – no one doesn’t want the less fortunate to not be fed! That’s not it.

Ask questions. Find resources. In St. Louis there are multiple facilities/organizations which work with volunteers. Start at a website like this … http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/cgi-bin/id/city.cgi?city=St.Louis&state=MO … or just google “St. Louis Homeless help.” I did that and found a variety of different resources. Call Larry Rice, Better Family Life, and so many other places.

Disclaimer: I’m not saying I agree with the Chief or don’t. That’s not the point here … what is the point and intent is to state there are ALWAYS two sides to an issue. ALWAYS.

The goal of all is to assist those who do not have the means to help themselves – who have the capability to LEARN how to help themselves. Those who want to help …Learn to work together instead of dissing police officers and city officials on social media is at the very least a decent idea.

Don’t be a sheep. Read. Ask. Call. Go. Learn the means and methods that work. Research. Know that there are two sides. Be open and be a skeptic. And always seek to love your neighbor as yourself … that includes the homeless and those who make the rules and enforce the rules.

So, now, how? Get informed.

Show love.

Show peace.

Abide by the laws of the land – wherein those laws do not conflict with the laws of God. City regulations are not saying the homeless can’t be fed … they’re saying there are means and methods to accomplish the task in an orderly fashion ………

Love you all.

4 Dead. 11 Shot. 7/7/16. Maranatha.

Written on July 7, 2016, after/while watching the News

Tonight’s news hurts. 4 officers dead. 11 shot and one civilian in Dallas. More information rolling in and keeps upping the numbers and I do not understand.

I do not understand because … All lives should matter.

No, ALL LIVES DO MATTER.

Each and every person is made in the Image of God. Imago Dei. Genesis 1:26-27. All 7 billion of us alive now and all those who have gone on before.

And each one matters to the Creator of the Universe, God the Father of All.

How is this such a hard concept? Why is there so much ugliness in humanity?

Not that I don’t know the answer to my questions, because I do. This is a fallen world. Mankind is sinful. Romans 3:23 – For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. … Still. Just still.

The heart of God must break over us all … Humanity who he has given Choice. The right to choose right and wrong, to love Him or not. He is merciful, living yet just. He loves all people no matter their skin color, their religion, their creed.

I Timothy 2:3 … “This is good and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. 5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all people.”

And Jesus, the mediator, told us to Love our Neighbors as Ourselves.

That’s the answer … Love.

Unconditional love.

Because all lives matter … To God! And therefore MUST matter to me! To us!

Maranatha.

Strap In Students! You Have NO Idea What’s Coming

Written on July 9, 2016

First Day of Class ….

Another first day of class comes to a close and I am stoked. Twenty-three adults headed back to school sat with eyes on me – some with anxiety – most with anxiety – about starting this new chapter in their lives … and I understand the weight of my responsibility. Acclimate them to back to college. Make this a valuable experience. Set them up for success – never failure – although failure is essential to success … so, in a way .. preparing them to see failure as a success! That’s the ticket!

Love the first day. We skipped break-time again. Happens every time. We get to talking, sharing, laughing, and ideas popping … time flies. Love what I do. Love that I share ideas that for so many, change lives, experiences, perspectives. How beautiful.

What I need to learn about these days … stop wearing heels!

Always come in a pair of heels and always tell myself not to do that again! I won’t be sitting down for four hours! I know better! My feet feel fire – flames coursing through the veins and arches. Pain. And I want to run around the room barefoot! How professional. Oh my. Stupid heels. Can’t help it – I love them. Today’s pair is black. Only a 3″ heel.

Back to the class … they sit hunched over textbooks while I watch the timer tick down on their assessment tests. Three minutes to go and they’re free for the day. That puts us right at 2:00. The very moment class is to be over. Look at that. Talk about timing. I’m kind of impressed with myself. Ha.

Today, what I hope each person takes away is stop thinking and just write. Write about what you care about. Write what moves you. What motivates you – even on a mundane topic, find the angle that speaks to you. We’ll get to the editing later.

Stop taking things personally – especially with writing. Critique and failure are essential to growth. Mine them. Hug them. Use them. Push yourself to ever grow and achieve in communications.

Strap in students …. we are just getting started! You’re mine for 12 more sessions

#LoveMatters

Written on July 10, 2016

#LoveMatters

To Tiffany Sharell Block, a wonderful black Momma, on Facebook, I say … “Thank you!”

Thank you, Tiffany, for sharing … and I’m going to continue to share your words and your movement … #LoveMatters … let’s share that message! Keep it going!

Tiffany wrote … “While at the gym this morning the Lord spoke some powerful words to me and gave me a challenge. Yes, black lives matter, yes all lives matter but the Lord said the one thing that trumps it all is love. Let’s start a ‪#‎lovematters‬ movement. God told me to go and talk with a police officer and extend love. I didn’t want to do this. It required me to get out of my comfort zone. So, I told God that if there was an opportunity that I would but I wasn’t going to go look for it. Well, I pulled into the grocery store parking lot and guess who was sitting in their vehicle??? So I did what God told me to do and a 30-minute conversation ensued with Officer Eden. He told me all about his career and some daily challenges. We got to know each other. I told him how my children were now afraid of the police. So, he talked with them and gave them badges. We must start the conversation, to build relationships, to break down walls.

Let’s have the hard conversations guys…. with our friends of different ethnicities, our city leaders/officials, the pastors in our communities.

Tear these walls down! Let’s extend love. Challenge yourself…. Move out of your comfort zone. Let’s make this trend…. #lovematters

Just FYI… when we got in the car to drive off, Troi-Anisse said, ‘He’s actually nice.’”

My heart cries out just like Tiffany’s! Let’s TEAR DOWN WALLS and EXTEND LOVE. You’ve read it in my blog over and over again. The commands Jesus gave us are simply ….

Love the Lord Your God With All Your Heart, Your Soul, Your Mind and Your Strength … AND … Love Your Neighbor As Yourself. #LoveMatters Matthew 22:37-40

It is love that we exist for. It is love that is our purpose. It is love that Satan wars against. Ephesians 6:11- 13 states, “…Put on the full armor of God, so that you can make your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this world’s darkness, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore take up the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you will be able to stand your ground, and having done everything, to stand.…”

Jesus went on in Matthew 22 to say that ALL THE LAW AND THE PROPHETS HANG ON THOSE TWO COMMANDS. There is nothing in Scripture that is not summed up in Love. Nothing. Answers to all … are encompassed in Love. The ONLY way to fight the good fight … to put on the armor of God is to LOVE. #LoveMatters It is THE answer.

Is it easy? No. Of course not. Because we are at war. We are at war within ourselves – to love or to hate … but not realizing that deeper we are at war with the Prince of Darkness, who wants hate, deception, anger, war to erupt and destroy all that God intends for GOODNESS and the salvation of ALL.

“Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight ….” is a children’s song – one I learned in Sunday School years ago, but its message is true. God loves us all. Throughout Scripture, we are reminded that he wants ALL to come to him. He gives us choice – the choice to choose his path and his plan. What is it that he wants? Micah 6:8 tells us. My favorite verse in the entirety of the Bible …

“He has shown you, O Man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”

It is ours to love. It is God’s to avenge. Romans 12:18-20 … “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[a] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’”

Look at this world we live in. Hate. It’s full of hate. I have it inside me. I let it consume me at times. I don’t talk about it much, but it’s there …. and it is not of GOD. It is not of LOVE. It causes pain, anguish, misery … for me and those, I inflict my interpretations of my wronged life upon.

I am a hypocrite in this sermonette on love. Yet each day is new. Lamentations 3:22-23 shares this amazing-ness … “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” His love is ever there. Always. His mercy is great. His faithfulness is great. New every day. Does this give me license to continue in my ugliness? No. Not at all. Romans 6:1-2 … “Shall I go on sinning so that grace may increase? By NO means.”

So … today … I join with Tiffany Block. #LoveMatters … YES, it does. For those of us who claim the Name of God on our lives – it is our mandate. Love is our calling. Will we fail? Yes. Will we continue to start anew each day? Each moment? YES. It is for us to LOVE.

Spread #LoveMatters around. Use the hashtag. Let’s remind others we are ALL made in the image of God. ALL of us.

Thank you, Tiffany Sharell Block for being HIS voice today!